Monday, June 27, 2011

In Defense of the Turkey Leg

My recent post on the silliness of non-stadium consumption of Turkey legs has created quite a stir. I had no idea that so many of you sophisticates enjoyed eating off a bone. That being said, the response has been so overwhelming that I have invited my eloquent friend Herb Sanchez to offer some guest commentary.

Although Herb has had some trouble with the law, I'll never forget how he bailed me out of more than a few dicey situations back in the war. Herb, we'll always have Saigon '68. You are a true American.

Without further ado...

Recent writings by certain bloggers have attacked one of the simplest and most primal instincts that many Americans and establishments relish in. That act is eating your food with your hands.

Nothing symbolizes this act as much as the turkey leg. Since the dawn of the Turkey… man has enjoyed holding a drumstick or turkey leg with their hand and ripping at its roasted flesh with their teeth. Why?

Because we’re animals, walking, talking, violent animals who’ve been domesticated by time. But the Turkey leg, that tasty delicious leg of dark meat is one of the last remnant of the barbarian that lives inside. The savage that lives to conquer, that rules his domain, the warlord that sits on his thrown with a woman at his side and his violent dog on a chain at the other.

Here’s the real truth about the Turkey leg. If you don’t eat it you’re not a man and if you don’t enjoy the process you are weak.

The turkey leg never lies.

Thank you so much, Herb. We'll have to agree to disagree.

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